Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
