no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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