I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
They should really pass out barf bags in church
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
