Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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