At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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