He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize