we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
