can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize