are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
