Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
