My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
