I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
