No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
