OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
