Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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