I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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