friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize