im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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