I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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