Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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