you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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