i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
