i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize