Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
