I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
