OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
