I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
