He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
