party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I could make wine with my vomit
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
