Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
