I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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