Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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