We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
