we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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