I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I wish my penis had an off switch
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
