take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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