OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
