It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
