went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize