Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
