haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
