I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
