The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
