is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
