I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
