And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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