Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
