you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Dear god my vagina.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
