I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
