I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
