I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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