after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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