My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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