it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
