Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
