are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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