im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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