i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
