I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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