What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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