take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
