I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
