I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
