Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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