i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
